it starts as an innocent intruder in the middle of the night. he isn’t the scary kind that you immediately defend against, but more the precious kind that comes seeking comfort from his favorites. he snuggles up and makes himself comfortable.
you vow to end this. right now. but, before long, you don’t even wake to the intrusion. instead, you find yourself waking nose to nose with the invader himself (and, in a “it-won’t-be-like-this-for-long” kind of way, you love the sleepy-eyed smiles, the good morning whispers, those moments).
and then he’s scared. and you believe him. and you should, because he is. instead of him being the intruder, he is scared of an intruder. and of wind. and of dark. and of being alone all the while. things that are real, and things of which you are sometimes afraid. and you are the grown-up! so you stay. just once. and while it helps, it only makes it that much harder to do it alone the next night. and so you stay…even closer. but just once.
you encourage. you dispel. you turn on lights. you talk. you pray. you recite God’s word. you hug. you remind of God’s promises. you kiss. you speak truth.
but it’s fear. and it’s strong. and it’s just like real. and you want so bad to take it away. so you stay. but you know it won’t stop with just once.
your once great sleeper has hit another snag…the bigness and wide-open of the new bed, the lingering summer sunshine that causes sleep to come slowly, the awareness of reality and the growing imagination making fears grow up fierce.
this parenting stuff? it’s hard. because it is both comforting in the short-term and equipping for the long-term. it is deciphering the difference between what feels best and what is best. it is caring deeply for the present, but preparing for the future. it is correcting behavior while addressing the heart.
and this is only bedtime.
June 19, 2009
Each and every morning, we get to look at this:
Nevermind the fact that when he wakes the child hasn’t eaten in a solid 10-12 hours, he is always wearing a smile. It fades quickly if nourishment isn’t soon given, but whose wouldn’t?
April 13, 2009
What we found out at our last appointment was that our little guy is growing like a weed. Well, in weight at least. A whole 2 pounds in one month!! At this rate it looks like we’ll have a somewhat tall chunk with a small head! But if he continues looking like this he’ll be the cutest one of that description around. Okay, I’ll admit a slight bias 🙂
And now for the title…at the risk of losing friends I’ll admit that those numbers represent Biz’s hours of sleep the past 3 nights.
With that, I’ll sign off.
March 16, 2009
all i’m going to say is 9.5 straight hours of sleep last night. this kid is awesome
March 11, 2009
I think it is obvious to most people when I (K) write in this blog because there are lots of grammatical errors…so bear with me as I try to recreate the pure joy we experienced last night.
As my wife and I were reading our bible last night in our bed with Biz lounging around with us (don’t worry everyone, he does not sleep in our bed with us), I realized how much fun this having a son thing is going to be. I was reading and she was staring at B…when I looked up she had tears in her eyes. For those of you who know us well, it is not abnormal for her to have tears in her eyes for no apparent reason. Before I asked what was wrong she said “He’s so cute.” Over the course of the next few minutes Biz was smiling and even laughing out loud. We sure do love that little guy. After a few smiles and laughs, she said “if you ever want anything all you have to do is smile at me like that again.” So I said “Come on B, smile like that just one more time for her.” I didn’t get a smile, but he did fart loud enough that it startled himself. Then he gave just a little grin.
You would think that was the end of our funny little story, but as we went on reading, all of the sudden I said that my arm got very warm. I associated this with the fact that my arm was almost completely asleep from leaning on it for so long. When we finished reading we prayed and after that we got up to put him to bed. He had peed all over the place. The reason my arm was warm was because urine is warm, especially on bare skin (if you don’t believe me watch Dumb and Dumber). After changing him we learned that he apparently peed enough that it ran out of his diaper, through his clothes, and onto my arm and my side of the bed. Biz has now been on our bed two times and both times he has peed on the sheets.